The reality of my new life

Living in San Francisco isn’t what I imagined. No, I’m not talking about my superficial belief that I’d have a thriving nightlife, or that new friends would be banging on my door. I’m talking about little things. The details that never fit with the image in my head.

I have a new job. I was supposed to work in Union Square, surrounded by tourists, shoppers, high buildings, and bright lights. I’d take Muni to and from work, and my car would sit forgotten at home. A big city restaurant for a big city girl. But I got here and things changed. I changed. I could list 101 reasons why I revised my previous stance about working in a restaurant, but none of those matter. In truth I don’t understand why people are so amazed that I left the restaurant industry. Did anyone truly believe that was my dream?

I regularly said "would you like fries with that?"

I’m getting side tracked. Sorry, pet peeve. Besides, I was always secretly hoping for something new.

I work for a company that challenges me constantly. A place where I am surrounded by creative and intelligent innovators. I have learned so much in my short time here, and my knowledge continues to grow. I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole, and have had to just let go and enjoy the ride. At times my inner stage manager tries to make sense of the chaos, but I’ve discovered how to embrace the insanity. How to thrive within the madness.

I don’t work in Union Square. I don’t work in a tall building, surrounded by bright lights. I work in The Haight, a district that I instantly grew to love. I’m surrounded by Victorian homes, hippies, and sunshine. I drive to work, parking next to Buena Vista Park, and spend my short walk to work reveling in my surroundings. Street musicians say hello, while other people lounge on the grass.

There’s something else that has surprised me though. Another detail of the city that I didn’t anticipate. The nature. It’s so green up here. Green and lush and beautiful. I knew that it was green up here; I’ve commented on it in the past. But it’s not just that it’s green, it’s that you can find nature everywhere. There’s Golden Gate Park. I drive past it almost daily, though I’ve yet to explore it at length. It’s about 1.5 square miles, and has everything from tea gardens, to windmills, to buffalo. There’s Buena Vista Park; I’m convinced that park is magical. Maybe it’s the energy of flower children past. All I know is that it compels me to explore further. To go within the tress, and find the fae folk living within.

And then there’s my backyard. Lake Merced. When I was a little girl, our house was next to Back Bay. I loved to wander the greenbelt, letting my imagination go wild. Walking around Lake Merced, I get that same feeling. Well, an adult version of it. A feeling of tranquility. A desire for adventure. The realization that I can conquer the world. The self-esteem of my youth, before it was destroyed by bullies, rejection, and self-doubt. This isn’t a place to walk with a purpose. It’s a place for me to get lost in myself, and remember my inner power.
My backyard!
In essence, that’s what San Francisco has become. I imagined a big city life. Instead what I found is a place where the grass grows green, people say hi on the street, and I can let go of expectations and just be me.

I found my new home.